I’ll never forget pulling into a random parking lot to cry desperate tears and text my friend Jana. I was 5 weeks postpartum and have never experienced such sleep deprivation in my entire life. Me being tired was an understatement – I was a hot mess. Jana had given me her Moms On Call book (0-6 months) before the twins were born but I had not started using it. I can even remember her response to my text asking her when her twin babies started to sleep in chunks, “my heart aches for you I remember how hard it was. It gets better, but seriously try the scheduling tips in the book”. That was the first night that I took it seriously and did as the book said. That night it was still the same, waking up every half hour to 15 minutes. My babies were nowhere on the same schedule so even if one was sleeping the other was awake and that was why it was crucial to start scheduling them. It wasn’t until the first week using Moms On Call where I started to notice a difference. Hallelujah, I got a solid two hours! It’s so funny to me now to even type that. Who is happy about just two hours straight of sleep a night?! But I have to tell you those first two-three months were brutal. It’s hard for me to even type some of this because I don’t want to complain. I know I am blessed with two amazing babies but during this time it was hard for me to even think clearly because of the exhaustion. After Oliver and Olivia went down for the night I would lay in bed and pray to God to get one hour straight before having to wake up to feed or re-swaddle a baby.
Pictured above is the second book of the series I am on now. I thought about wiping it down but this is too funny. It has coffee cup rings on it! I spent so many morning’s and afternoons re-reading this book every time I was doubting myself. At this point, Oliver and Olivia were sleeping though the night but I was rearranging their schedule, trying new foods and so on. What is hilarious is the first book (Baby Basic Care) that I borrowed from Jana, literally had tear stains on some of the pages! It’s funny now but man was I tired which then leads to me crying a lot. I can vividly remember crying in my bed, reading the book to review and trying to go to sleep knowing that in an hour I will most likely be woken by baby cries.
This book does work. I’m going to share with you what I followed exactly and then I’ll dive into what I didn’t completely agree with and chose to opt out of. That’s the beauty of it! You can take some big pointers away (and leave a few out) and it will still better your chances with sleep!
Real quick, let me explain how the book series works!
1.) Mom’s On Call Baby Basic Care: 0-6 months
2.) Mom’s On Call Next Steps Baby Care: 6-15 Months (this is the book I am currently following)
3.) Mom’s On Call Toddler Book
Why did I not start it right away/what made me start?
Ultimately, I felt intimidated. Another factor was that I was getting mixed views from other moms on whether they scheduled their babies or not. Some would say how their children were never on a schedule and did just fine. Others claimed a schedule was the best thing for their family. Then, once Oliver and Olivia arrived into this world I was so immersed in just getting the hang of being a new momma that the thought of following a schedule overwhelmed me. I have to say though, especially with twins, it is crucial and downright logical. Even if you have one baby that is sleeping great, if the other one is awake then your sleep is shot regardless! Keeping them on the same schedule, to me, became about survival. If I didn’t start getting more sleep, I really felt like I was going to lose my sh*t (to be blunt) and that’s the last thing I wanted to do!
What did I start doing right away after reading Moms On Call:
1.) I implemented a bedtime routine
This is explained more in the book but I took a lot of the recommendations. Bathtime happened at the same time every night. At first, this confused me because I was told by my pediatrician they did not need baths that often and it would dry out their skin. That’s why some nights we didn’t even really give them a bath but more like just dunked them in, let them feel the warm water, and then out they went into their jammies. The purpose of the bath was more to associate it with sleep not necessarily being the cleanest babies on the block. We do bathtime right before their bedtime and they now know what that means. After bathtime (before they could crawl) we would just have some wiggle time on the floor, read books, listen to music to get them more tuckered out. Afterward, it was into the cribs and lights out. We have an iPad connected to speakers in their bedroom where we play white noise. I can not stress enough how much the white noise has helped! That is another essential part of the routine. White noise… god bless ya! I also use a white noise app from my phone when they fuss in the stroller or the car. I put it on and it instantly calms them!
Several of my momma friends have these white noise makers as well!
2.) I moved them both to their cribs
We had two bassinets all ready to go (one by each of us) for our babies but guess what? They never slept a single night in them. We tried several times and it was a nightmare. I don’t think Matthew or I slept a wink any of those nights with the bassinets. Finally, the babies and I camped out in our living room for weeks and here is why. Matthew did not get paternity leave and actually started his new job the Monday after the babies were born. His job is demanding, requires a lot of critical thinking and the guy needed sleep to think and work – especially being brand new at work! Our best solution was for me to sleep on the couch and the babies sleep in the double baby pillow that we had right next to me. They hated the bassinets and for some reason, the double pillow worked (don’t mom shame me – I was desperate). After reading Moms On Call I transitioned them to their cribs and never looked back. Best decision I ever made. Also for those wondering if I was nervous about leaving them in a different room than me, the answer is YES! However, we purchased the owlet smart socks before they were born because I knew my anxiety would be through the roof wondering how they were doing. It is worth that money (even though holy smokes they are expensive) and gave me the BIGGEST PIECE OF MIND! Whether these are worth it or not is a debate all in itself. For me, if we did not have them I would have been checking on the babies constantly, watching their little chests go up and down as they take breaths. Instead of sleeping when they sleep… I would be watching them sleep out of pure anxiety and, that alone, made it worth purchasing the owlet smart socks for our twins!
3.) I did not let them nap past 5:00 unless they happened to fall asleep in the car on errands
This was tough and sure, there were times I caved. Sometimes they were horrendous and needed a fifteen-minute cat nap so I would put them in the jogging stroller and walk in the neighborhood for a short amount of time- or take a short drive! But for the most part, I made sure they did not nap past 5:00 p.m. They would go to bed so easily by 7:00 if I could hold them off from napping!
4.) I took MOC advice and made sure they started napping at the same times every day
Every day they napped at the same time and they still do to this day. I know this can be hard depending on what you have going on. It has gotten significantly easier now that they only take one long nap starting around 12:00 p.m. and ending at 3:00 p.m. That’s the only time I make sure we are home and stay on schedule for that. In the mornings I go on a walk/run around 9 and finish up by 10. I’ve decided that time slot is fair game if they want to nap. However, I do not let this one control my whole day. If I am meeting up with friends with the babies or have errands to run I am okay breaking this part of the routine! They will make up for the sleep during their long nap at 12!
5.) I woke/wake them up at the same time every day
This one was really hard for me in the beginning to do because it was so tempting to let them sleep in as late as they wanted. The thought of waking up and taking my sweet ol’ time getting ready, making coffee and relaxing? Who doesn’t want that?! But I stuck with this rule because it’s a key component to actually keeping them on a schedule. Now, I do not have to wake them up, ever! They go to bed every night around 7-7:30 p.m. (and are tired and ready to) and wake up around 7:00 a.m. on the dot. By being so consistent those first 3-4 months with them it has made my life a heck of a lot easier now. Looking back, it is a ton of work to train their sleeping and eating but it’s so dang worth it.
6.) I let them fuss
This is a huge parenting controversy. Are you a terrible parent if you let them cry it out? Neglectful? On the other hand, if you don’t let them learn to self-soothe are you teaching them that every time they cry you will rush into their nursery? What is right and wrong? Personally, I just think it depends on the parents, babies, and situation. I do not think this is a black and white subject and honestly, wonder if there is a “right way” to handle this. I would say I fell somewhere in the middle when it came to this big parent controversy. For our situation, it was VERY hard for me to let them cry it out and I didn’t do it when the Mom’s On Call book recommended to. I can’t remember the exact week it was supposed to happen but I do recall that it said to shut the door at bedtime and do not open it until the next morning when it was time to. Keep in the mind the book phrases this part a lot nicer and gives good pointers – I’m just rephrasing from what I can remember! It said to do this for three nights consecutively and by the third night, they would start to adjust. We did not do it this way because I could not handle it and my gut told me that for our situation it wasn’t the right move. What I did instead, when they started to get older and bigger, was to time it out on my phone. Instead of rushing in there the second they cried I would give it a minute, then would check in. If they cried again, I would give it 2-3 minutes and then check in. I let them fuss but I refused to let them cry three nights straight. No judgment for parents who did try that strategy! My momma heart just couldn’t take it so it didn’t happen! This was another reason that I put off reading this book and implementing it right away. I thought it was something I HAD to do in order to succeed in sleep training them so it instantly turned me off. What I learned is that by taking pretty much all of the suggestions except this one, we still had a very successful experience. When I look at the reviews this is a concern that many other mothers had and a big reason why they did not follow this book. I just want to make it clear that you can take away bits and pieces that work for you and your family but you do not have to do everything exactly like it states! That was the mistake/assumption I made initially.
One thing I added into their bedtime routine that was not in the book:
1.) Zippadee-Zips!
Can’t say enough good things about these. I will say we did the swaddle recommendation in the MOC book and it did not work for us – They even have a YouTube video on how to swaddle them correctly. Matthew and I just kind of struggled in the swaddling department, what can I say! Reswaddling a couple times in the middle of the night became a normal thing for us and for the life of me I do not know why we didn’t just do the velcro swaddles?! I’m going to blame this one on sleep deprivation and not having more common sense! Ha! I look back and am like what the heck Rachel? Go out and buy some velcro swaddles they can’t escape out of!. Oh well – you live and you learn! Once they outgrew swaddling we purchased our first pair of Zippadee-zips and never looked back.
My best advice is to just follow your gut and your momma intuition – which is totally a real thing by the way! You are the mother and you know what is best for your sweet baby (and sanity!) Don’t forget that. It’s very easy to get wrapped up in what worked for another momma who may be more seasoned but at the end of the day, you truly do know what is best regardless of experience. It’s ingrained in you as their mom. Do your research and decide for yourself what will work best for you and your family. I was pleasantly surprised with how well Moms On Call worked for us but I’m not saying it is the only way to go. Maybe it will work for you, or maybe it’s not your cup of tea and that is OKAY! I’m simply sharing what helped me in hopes that helps another struggling sleep deprived mom out there. Cheers to you! If you are going through the rough stage of little to no sleep just know it gets better and try to hang in there. Before you know it your sweet baby will be sleeping through the night and after they are down you are going to miss them! Maybe even be tempted and go rock them as they sleep in their nursery… not that I have done that or anything (: who am I kidding, totally guilty!
Thank you for stopping by the blog today and I hope some of these tips will help you! Happy Thursday!