It’s kind of weird for me to write a post about how I purposely expose my little ones to some fast food and sweet treats. It’s even weirder to write my perspective on this topic considering my degree is in nutrition and I am a personal trainer. I’m aware with my background that most would assume I would be 100% a health freak and that would trickle down to the way I feed my one and a half-year-old twins. The best way for me to begin to explain why I am the mom that I am is to share three experiences that highly influenced me and the way that I view food with children.

Experience 1:

When I was just a little girl (around 8-9 years old) I had a childhood friend that lived very close by. She came over to my house often and usually unannounced. This was never an issue considering I came from a family of 6 kids. My mom always said, “aw what’s one more kid?!” Let’s call my childhood friend Ella. To describe Ella, she was beautiful and very thin. I remember being in awe of how thin she was because I was chubbier until 6th grade when I hit my growth spurt. Anyways, the first thing she would say when she came through the door is, “Hey can I have a snack?” We would start going through the cupboards and help ourselves to what we wanted. I noticed that Ella always went for the unhealthier options such as a zebra cake – anyone else remember those? After she was finished with that she would head back to find something else to her liking. As a little girl, I just thought it was fun to have a friend over, play, and eat treats so I really did not think much of it until we got a little older. I remember heading to Ella’s house one day thinking that she spontaneously comes to mine so why couldn’t I go to hers. I knocked on the door and waited. Ella answered but opened the door just a crack, saw me and slipped outside to meet me. She said, “let’s go to your house and eat!” I thought it was kind of unusual but agreed and off we went to have some snacks and play.

Eventually, I found out that her meals were portioned out by her mom. Everything! There was no junk food, sugar or treats to be found in the house. If Ella and her siblings finished their food and wanted more, they were out of luck! They had their portioned meals and that was it. I look back and wonder if the portioned meals they were given were even enough because she and all her siblings were extremely thin, almost gaunt. It all started to make more sense to me. Eventually, Ella and her family moved away and our friendship slowly dwindled. Years and years later, we ran into each other and I didn’t recognize her.  She was at least 70-80 pounds overweight and just did not look healthy. It was heartbreaking and hard to see. Ella was living on her own and finally had the freedom to make her own food choices.

What I’ve learned from this experience is that we can limit our children too much. So much so, that they may be never exposed to sugar until grade school or know what a doughnut is until a friend teaches them about it. We can make strict house rules that we only eat organic and 100% clean in our homes. Hell, we can even portion their meals out and control every little thing they put into their mouth up until a certain age. Here is the problem: eventually they will seek it out somewhere else! It’s teaching them from a very young age that a treat occasionally is BAD – which is sad since it’s not. What’s scary is by being so strict when they are that young it can actually have the reverse effect on them. It will make them only want sweet and processed food because they were told “no” for so long. You don’t have any of that at your house? That’s fine, one of their friends probably does and they will want to spend their time there.

I am absolutely not saying that you should be stocking your kitchen full of sweets and processed food! My whole point is that there needs to be a balance. Stock it with fruits and vegetables to expose to your little ones to the good stuff but also have a few treats. There is a common parental fear that if your kid has some sugar from a cookie or a doughnut they will become automatically addicted. That’s simply not true. There is nothing wrong with keeping it 90% clean and having 10% wiggle room to let your kids be kids.

 

Experience 2:

As a nutrition major in college, many of my professors were dieticians which was super cool! I loved heading to nutrition class, especially when we were starting to learn how to consult clients ourselves. It was my Junior year of college when we were shown more real-life experiences of what they had gone through consulting their own clients. One story in particular really stood out me and has never left me since.

Let’s call this professor, Mrs. Betty. Mrs. Betty was one of my favorite professors because she was so down to earth, kind, and kept it real in the classroom. She had just become a mother to a little girl herself so I think this is why she shared this particular story with us. It just tugged at her heartstrings (along with the entire class). Her youngest client with anorexia was a three and a half-year-old little girl. You read that right – three and a half years old! My first thought was, “how does a three-year-old develop anorexia?” This alone I could not wrap my head around because I didn’t even learn what any type of eating disorder was until well into high school.

Mrs. Betty went on to explain that the three-year-old developed anorexia because her mother portioned out her meals, counted her calories, and was very restrictive. Not only that but the mother, herself, had an eating disorder. She would constantly comment on her own body and it was usually negative:

“I’m so fat”

“My thighs are too big”

“My arms are so flabby”

You know how they say your little ones are constantly listening and watching you? This experience could not prove this to be truer. Eventually, this three-year-old took it upon herself to not eat, because “mommy wasn’t eating”. Monkey see monkey do. In a lot of ways, this experience reminds me of my friend, Ella, and her experience.

What stood out to me the most in this situation is how CRUCIAL it is that as a parent, we can not talk down on ourselves. We not only have little ones constantly watching us but listening to every little word we say. It’s amazing how fast they can pick things up at such a young age. This was the day I really tried to stop talking badly about myself, even if there were things I wanted to improve on. At the time, I was only 20 years old, but I knew that I wanted a family one day and this was something I would have to get better at doing.

 

Experience 3:

Again, as a junior in college, I had just started shadowing at a hospital clinic. I was sitting in on group nutrition meeting and it turned out to be one of the most eye-opening meetings I had witnessed. In a lot of ways, it was hard for me to sit in and not open my mouth, just listen. I will never forget when one woman, who was very overweight, talked about her frustrations with not just her own weight but her kids. She could just not figure out where she was going wrong with her food purchases as she was trying hard to make the right ones. The dietician leading the meeting asked her to list off what she fed them for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks to have a better understanding. The woman started with breakfast and explained that they have fruit loops every morning to get their fruit intake in for the day (my mouth dropped as she said this). The dietician went on to explain that although the word “fruit” was in the title of the cereal brand, it was in fact, not actual fruit nor nutritious. The mothers face turned bright red. The anger that I felt toward this mom quickly turned to sadness once I realized something. She wasn’t dumb, she was just uneducated and ignorant about proper nutrition concepts. All in all, though, she was TRYING. She was showing up to these meetings and learning so that her kids and herself could lead a healthier and happier life.

What I learned from this experience is that as parents, it is important we educate ourselves on nutrition. We do not have to be experts but it’s important to be aware and have an idea of what’s nutritious and what’s not. Do our kids deserve to be kids and have treats here and there? YES! Do our kids also deserve the chance at a healthy life through exposure to fruits and vegetables? HECK YES! This, my friends, means they need balance and it has to start with us. Now, I know I’m just a 25 year old and have only been a mom for a year and a half. I understand that my views will continue to grow and possibly change but this is where I stand with it all as of now. Seeing both extremes when it comes to feeding little ones inspired me to keep it very balanced within my own little family. This is why we eat 80-90% clean at home, but also have sweet treats and the occasional fast food!

As always, thanks for stopping by and reading my blog posts (: I hope everyone has a great Thursday!

Stay Lively!