Hello friends! I want to fill you in on my Friday because it was a downright beautiful day. Then I want to talk about one of the most replied to stories on my Instagram. I posted a photo displaying my back scar from my spinal fusion surgery and got a big response that was very unexpected!

Let’s dive right into Friday! I was a bridesmaid in my longest friend, Jessica’s, wedding. We met when we were four years old. Our first encounter was not the most positive! Let’s just say I was a scrappy little girl, always fending off my four brothers and constantly trying to be “as tough as them”. Jessi came right up to me and said, “Hi, I’m Jessi!” I then turned to my mom and said, “I don’t like that girl her dress is ugly.” My mom was horrified that I, her little girl, would say that hahaha- sorry mom! Let’s just say Jess and I overcame that traumatic first meeting and became the best of friends!

Anywho, here we are 20 years later! I arrived at the church around noon and right after the babies were down for their long nap. The wedding was at 4:30 but we were having photos taken beforehand! I ended up doing my own hair and makeup because I knew I already would be gone the majority of the day and wanted to get some baby time in. I always take Ollie and Liv on a walk/run in the morning but since Matthew had the day off, he took them for me. While they were gone for forty minutes I quick YouTubed a bridesmaid updo and managed to get that and makeup done all while they were gone. Talk about record timing! Here is the link to the tutorial that I followed! I actually really loved this hairstyle. It took very little time to figure out and is something I could for another fun occasion! My brother David’s wedding is next weekend so maybe I’ll just repeat this. We shall see!

We hung out in the bridal room for awhile and then made our way upstairs to the church for photos! Here are a few photos of the beautiful bride! Talk about stunning!

After they said “I do” and head out of the church, I snagged a family photo with Matthew and my little people. Whenever we are all dressed up it’s important to at least try, right?! Even though these babies just want to go go go!

We stayed behind for a few more bridal group photos and Matthew and my parents loaded the babies up into the car for a nap before the reception! Does anyone else stress about their babies napping especially on days like a wedding?! Matthew and I both knew that they needed a solid nap before the reception or we would not last there very long. Thankfully, it worked out and they ended up staying with us until about 9:00. That’s two hours past their normal bedtime! Something I never thought I would stress about is throwing them off their routine. I can’t tell you how many moms have said, “oh my babies were never on a routine!” Well, for twins, I have found it to be crucial because it keeps them happy and sleeping through the night together and it saves mine and Matthews sleep! I have to say though changing their routine for a day was fine. They went right back to the norm the next day, all was well in the Hulteen household!

Let’s chat about the Instagram story that got a lot of traffic, shall we?

Early Friday morning I decided to quickly snap a photo of my back showing loud and proud my scar.

The caption said “Rockin the back scar today! Shoutout to my fellow scoliosis people!”

I really did not think much of it. In fact, I almost did not post it at all because I wondered if it was silly to even bring attention to. The rest of the day I did not go on Instagram nor did I check my message box. The next morning, let’s just say I was floored by the number of messages I received, all sending me love and support. You had some really amazing questions and it inspired me to answer one big one on today’s blog and then the rest will be answered on Thursdays!

“How do you show your scar off with such confidence? Wearing a backless dress would make me anxious. I hide my scar at all times because I don’t feel like explaining why it’s there. It reminds me of how much pain I went through with my scoliosis, surgery, and recovery after. Any confidence tips would be appreciated!”

Let me start off by sharing that I had my spinal fusion surgery when I was 17 years old. I am now 24 years old and my mindset is very different. I have not always been this confident and I can admit that I use to be very embarrassed by my scar. Maybe it’s because as a woman I  just wanted everything on my body to be “perfect”, without any scarring or “ugly marks”? I don’t know. This is something I use to struggle with a lot but here is how I got over it. A little something you should know about me is when I feel insecure about something, really anything, I display it. I don’t hide my insecurities anymore or refuse to talk about them because that makes me even more insecure. When I was 18 years old, I had enough of hiding my back scar – letting it dictate the way I dressed – so I started wearing shirts that showed it. I did this on purpose because I knew people would see it and ask me about it. This forced me to learn how to talk about it without being secretive or awkward. I’ve done this with a lot of other insecurities and it works for me. It’s like when I first started to go lift weights at the gym. I was so insecure because I did not know what I was I doing. I didn’t want this fear to dictate the way I worked out so one day I just walked into the weight room and looked at the photos on the machines. I would blatantly say “I don’t know what I am doing but I’m here to learn” to random people who would ask to share a machine with me. I went from being a very secretive private person – someone who used to never admit any insecurities – to blunt and open. I would like to make a point of saying that when I am open about my insecurities, I don’t take the approach of “poor me” or act like I have it terrible because I know I do not. Everyone has insecurities they deal with on a daily basis – that is life! My way of dealing with it is positively verbalizing things that bug me, making them into something comical. I learned to acknowledge what makes me insecure and then move on. Now, I don’t even think about my back scar anymore because I have grown to love it. It’s a part of me. Want to hear my newest insecurity that I am constantly joking about?! This is going to have a lot of you laughing – let’s talk about what a woman’s boobs look like postpartum! Holy cow… mine are interesting hahaha. I was making a lot of jokes the majority of Friday (the wedding) about how my boobs are more like floppy sacks of skin because let me tell ya, it was not easy finding a bra to work with a backless dress! Pre-baby Rachel would say, oh duh! Just use sticky boobs that cover the front. Well, post-baby Rachel found out real quick those were not going to work. How do I even go about describing what they looked like? It was like strapping down two unproportioned hacky sacks that drooped way too far down… Okay okay I may be exaggerating a little bit. Moral of the story, this momma needed more support!  I ended up making a last-minute run to target and found something to work with a backless dress! Here it is!


Now, I am rambling… oh my goodness. My whole point is instead of taking everything too seriously and getting overly fixated on certain aspects of ourselves, learn to joke about it. Personally, I like displaying it and owning it. It all started when I was 18 years old and insecure as hell about my back scar. I’m glad I did because it has taught me to stop trying to obtain perfection and to just own my body. Scars, postpartum boobs… all of it! OWN IT.

Thanks for stopping by the blog today and make sure to stop by here Thursday for more info regarding my life with a spinal fusion surgery and before with battling Scoliosis.

XOXO,

Stay Lively!