Have you ever thought, “Damn I just want to be a good person”? Anyone? I think about this a lot, especially now that I have little people watching my every move and hearing every. single. word out of my mouth. I just want to be a good, kind, uplifting person. That’s it. Typically, I would be writing my regular weekend recap right now but you guys know me, if something is on my heart I tend to write about that. Are you ready for a bunch of emotional ramblings and realizations?

Lately I have been struggling with the concept of kindness. Even typing that sentence makes me feel like a bad person. Like, why should it be hard for me to struggle being kind at points in my life? It’s easy to be nice to others when they are the same in return, am I right? It’s also easy to be pleasant when you, yourself, are organically in a good mood! I view myself as a naturally happy and postive person. However, I have been struggling with giving kindness when it is not recipocrated. Trust me, I know this is wrong. There should not be incentive behind it. Treat others the way you would want to be treated, ring a bell?

I have a few ideas for why I have been struggling with being kind or “on edge” (whatever you want to call it) regardless of whether it is deserved or recipocrated so here they are:

1.) My fuse can be short with everyone (except my babies) when I’m drained or extremely tired

2.) I use every ounce of love and patience I have for my babes- without even meaning to at times! (#1 and #2 go hand in hand)

3.) Back to number one…sometimes I’M JUST TIRED AND DON’T WANT TO BE NICE! hahaha anyone else relate to this? ( I take that back #1, #2, #3 are practically the same thing, awkwarrrrd)

4.) I let random worries or things on my “to do” list get to me, to the point where my stress turns into me being mean at times.

I’m aware this is wrong and felt a strong urge to write about it because as a mother, wife, friend, sister, daughter I am a constant work in progress! Aren’t we all? Perfection is not obtainable but learning to be a kind human is.  My inkling is that we all struggle with this, at some points of life more than others! So here is the deal, I wanted to hop on here and share a few ways I am working on being a genuinely kinder person:

1.) Consider kindness before I speak

Oh my gosh if you have followed along on my journey, you know I am a blunt person. Dang it I can be blunt. It’s not always bad and I do believe in tough love but there are times it’s not needed. If I have something on my mind that is not kind, I am not going to speak it. It is not a sign of weakness to choose kindness, it’s a sign of heart. This is something I can lose sight of so it’s a new goal for me.

2.) Spread any kindness that I have received like wildfire

It’s easy to focus on when someone is not kind and to be a jerk back, but what about spreading the kindness we recieve from someone? This concept, I love and it’s something I want to implement more and more of. Spread it, even if it’s to a complete stranger. I was just talking to Matthew about this…It’s so easy after an unpleasant experience or conversation to come home and  spread the unpleasantry among your loved ones, the people you feel the most comfortable being your worst at. But why aren’t we as consistent with spreading the good feelings we may have had from a positive experience in the day? It can be easy to focus on the negative and forget that a lot of good happened that exact same day. Why do we naturally choose to spread the bad versus the good? Let’s reverse that, shall we?

3.) Focus on GRATITUDE

Think of 2-3 things you are thankful for every single morning. I have purposefully started to wake up before my babies, sit at the table with my coffee and write down what I am grateful for. It might sound cheesy, I know it did to me at first, but it actually works. My day starts off on a more positive note, causing me to feel softer, kinder, and less on edge.

Here is what I had written down on my paper for today:

1.) I am extremely thankful for my HEALTHY babies. God is good. End of story.

2.) I am thankful to live near family. Their love and support adds so much value to our lives. It puts the biggest smile on my face knowing our children will grow up around their (future) cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. They already have built in besties (besides eachother)!

3.) I am thankful for my BOB double stroller. I swear I have a legitmate crush on that thing (watch out Matthew). If I did not have a reliable stroller to push my babies in everyday, I would go insane. Being able exercise, take Oliver & Olivia & Stella with me, and get a little sunshine = best feeling ever. It makes me feel like super mom (for an hour) hahaha. Oh Bob, I adore ya.

4.) Send a 2-3 sentence email/text to a loved one thanking them for something

We often have thoughts running through our minds of small (or large!) gestures others have done for us that were kind but do we always voice our gratitude? Not always. Personally, I do this all the time. I think these nice thoughts but forget to voice them. People aren’t mind readers…how would they ever know? Don’t be shy and think it’s weird. Gratitude is COOL.

5.) Exercise for 20-30 minutes a day

Physical activity is training your mind that your behavior, in fact, matters. You are training your mind that it’s important and play’s a key role in your happiness and well being. How powerful and awesome is that?

6.) Stop giving kindness to get kindness.

This is major and probably the most important to keep in mind. Giving kindness and then constantly having certain expectations after for the other person is not real kindness. It’s like keeping a score card and tracking good deeds you have done versus what the other has done. When you release the need to control what you get, when you give, that is when you are legtimately practicing kindess. The whole purpose is to give without expecting anything in return.

Can you tell I have been thinking about this subject thoroughly over the past few weeks? If this comes across preachy or as if I am just giving you advice, I assure you I am not. Really, I’m atually writing down these six steps as reminders to myself because I’ve been struggling to practice them whole heartedly. Transparency can be difficult for me at times on this platform. It’s kind of weird to type out “Hi world! My name is Rachel and sometimes I struggle being nice!” but it’s needed. My heart is telling me this is something we all struggle with. If I have been a little quiet with my posts on social as well as my blogs, it’s because this has been on my mind an insane amount. Ultimately, I look at my little people (Oliver & Olivia) and just want to do more and be better. Analyzing myself and kindness in general stems from me just wanting to be the best mom to them because that is what they deserve!

In another breath, I would love for you to share with me ways you display kindness on a daily basis. Big or small!  Or if you have certain goals each day for yourself to becoming a better person. Whatever it is, I want to know! Comment below!

Happy Wednesday & Stay Lively & Practice Kindness!